One year in the college dorms and I knew one person, my roommate…..
In order to understand where I'm going with this, let me back up for a second. .
I struggled for the longest time with figuring out what in the heck my first blog post would be. I’ve decided to start from the point that I call ‘The Beginning’ to give you an inside look at my old philosophies. This should give you a clear picture of the transition from my old self to my own personal transformation.
If the present day Brian ran into the pre-"Break Free Brain", lets just say that we would not become the closest of buddies. I was essentially the opposite of who I am today. I was close minded, stuck in my ways, and avoided uncomfortable situations or events. I held belief systems that were conditioned and/or handed down to me by society and parents. Also, by forming an identity that was constructed by the ego, I seemed to manifest a great deal of division from particular sectors of people.
What do I mean by this “division”?
I had beliefs of “me or us” vs “others”. And as I reflect back on this belief system and ego identification, it's obvious the beliefs allowed me to experience a form of comfort and belonging. Paradoxically, this belief system sapped me of rich life experiences and personal growth.
Just by the title of this post you have a good idea as to the mindset I once had. This mindset enabled me to form justifications as to why I avoided uncomfortable situations. Situations such as: meeting new people and the perceived pressure of trying to impress and play a certain role that came along with it. I avoided these situations at all cost. I made sure to hang with the same friends, the ones that “knew” me.
Get this. During college and my first year in the dorms, I connected with one person on a personal level, my roommate. I had a handful of old high school friends that lived in the area, so what did I naturally do? Of course, I spent my time with them. I made sure to stay right in that “comfy chair”. Right in the comforts of the known. My-oh-my, how this would change later in my life, as you will soon learn.
That’s just one story, but you get the idea. I wanted to stick with the familiar and the known. .
This was the course and path I took for years. Not only did I prefer the “comfy” seat, but I had extremely strong belief systems that were not created by me.
Beliefs that were conditioned or handed down to me.
And let me be the first to say, those belief systems did not add value to my life or enrich my life. However, back then I lacked the self-awareness to even recognize this issue; I completely identified with them and made them a part of me, my identity. Doing this can completely shelter a person and block a magnitude of opportunities and life experiences. There were multiple opportunities I avoided due to these self-limiting and self-sabotaging belief systems.
You see, I had conditioned beliefs in everything!
How a person should act in ____ situation
What I was good and not good at
Quick to pass judgment
My limits
How a marriage should be
How I would raise my children
What “hard” work meant
Who “lazy” people were
How a relationship should look
What foods I liked or disliked
Who I am, or should be
What kind of area I should live in
What “city people” were like
You get the point. These were all conditioned beliefs or beliefs that were formed from an unconsciousness level.
What do I mean at an unconscious level? I’m referring to the ego, which we all have. That’s not good nor bad. But I had allowed my ego to construct these belief systems to further strengthen itself. The ego does not care if these beliefs serve you or do not. This becomes a viscous cycle if you remain unaware and unconscious of this dilemma.
I had complete lack of self-awareness and became enslaved to my unconsciously directed mind, impulse thoughts and beliefs. Period.
I encourage you to read that statement over again, and really let it sink in.
What are your immediate thoughts that come to mind?
Are you even aware of your thoughts?
Where are your thoughts coming from??
And if you’re completely identifying with those impulse thoughts, you are in fact, as well…..trapped within the egoic mind and reacting to its impulse thoughts and beliefs.
If you can become aware of your ego at work, you’ve taken the first step to breaking this vicious cycle. Because with awareness comes power and with power you can CONSIOUSLY direct your mind in a way that serves you.
So I have 5 questions that you can ask yourself that will provoke some thought and reflection:
When you look at yourself 5 years ago, what comes to mind? List 4 adjectives that describe yourself and state of mind.
When you reflect on yourself, this present day, what comes to mind? List 4 adjectives that describe yourself and state of mind.
When you analyze and compare the two points in time, what comes to mind? Are you very similar? Are you thoughts and beliefs very similar?
If you are 100% honest with yourself, are you proud of the difference and/or there lack of?
After an honest assessment and objectively analyzing who you were, to whom you are now, what do you see that you need to create/become _________? List 2-3 adjectives that describe this evolution.
Is my journey complete? Absolutely not, but I’ve entered a personal journey and finding this path has enabled me to experience life at an entirely new level and an entirely new level of ‘being’.
In my next post I will take you to the first “major” decision in my life and move you closer to “The Day”. They day things abruptly changed and forced me onto this path…….
Brian Larson
Creator of Kingsman Academy