Why do we invest so much time and effort into building somebody else’s dream?
I believe it comes down to faith. And the thing is, faith is a mindset. Yes, seems so simple, I know. Let me explain this beyond just the typical conceptual level and share a story to help illustrate this concept at its core.
I remember when I was a trainer at a private personal training studio, fresh out of college. I was training 8-12 sessions, 5-6 days per week. I quickly became burnt out and was looking to break free. However, when I would get home I’d just ‘collapse’ and begin my evening routine: workout, eat, watch some TV, surf the web and go to bed. Repeat and repeat. Weekends….time to have FUN! That was “me” time. No way was I going to “waste” that time……
Until one day I literally made the decision to own my life and future. I was not willing to accept that hamster wheel lifestyle as my reality. I decided that I was not going to continue to build somebody else’s dream. When I made this decision, I started with changing my habits.
I knew that if I wanted to own my future and design my destiny I needed to invest in myself. During that time I literally had no money, so I started small. I invested in some books that I knew would guide me and provide some direction. I reached out to successful people that I knew and picked their brains. I sought a mentor that was a client/friend that I respected deeply and become friends with. He had attained a life that I was aspiring to have, so I decided to invest my time and learn from him.
This investment process has never stopped and it will never stop. I understand the importance of this and the power of this concept. It’s the #1 indicator of success…..how much are you willing to invest in yourself? And I’m not just talking monetary, I’m talking about the greatest investment of all – our time.
Let me explain this on a slightly deeper level.
Let’s see if I can get at its core…..
Frist, I’d like to make one thing apparent. There are opportunities everywhere. Some choose to see them, while others do not. And if you don’t “see” any then create one!
Ok, now that I have that out in the air let me continue….
I believe there are 2 kinds of individuals.
And here in-lies the biggest difference when it comes to the two groups. We will call them Self-Investors and Self-Sabotagers, for illustration purposes.
Group A (Self-investors): is presented an opportunity and visualizes what this can do for their future, their family and ultimately their lifestyle. They choose to notice the positive changes it can bring. They choose to ‘see’ the ultimate outcome.
Group B (Self-sabotager): is presented the same opportunity and they immediately think of every reason as to why this would not work for them. They choose to see the obstacles and the “process pain” (meaning all of the ‘extra’ work that would come along with this opportunity). Due to how they’ve programed their minds throughout the years, their mind unconsciously directs all attention to these negative assumptions. They look at this opportunity as a sacrifice to their time and NOT as an investment into their future, their life and/or legacy. Let me give you some more description:
When presented with an opportunity the Self-Sabotager thinks to themselves:
“I will have to work until 11pm every night; I don’t want to work anymore”
Self-Investor thinks to themselves:
“I will have to work until 11pm every night; this will be a challenge, but it will be a nice change to work on something that is for me and my future vs someone else’s. And I know this can lead to me ultimately having the ability to choose I want to spend each hour of each day. Sounds like a good ROI (Return on investment) to me”
Group B:
“I won’t be able to watch _____anymore”
Group A:
“If I stop watching _______I’ll have an extra hour to work on this new project.”
Group B:
“I won’t have my Sunday’s free anymore”
Group A:
“I currently have Sunday’s free, so I know I can get a ton of things done and eventually free up my Saturday’s, Friday’s and Thursday’s because of this”.
Group B:
“I’ll have to spend money on _______. Money I don’t even have (that’s a perception as well)”
Group A:
“Money’s tight, but I know I can stop spending money on _______ and then use that to invest in my new project and see a huge ROI.”
Group B:
“I don’t have the time to learn that”.
Group A:
“When I can I learn that? Where should I look?”
Group B:
“I could never learn how to _______”.
Group A:
“How can I learn that? What do I have to do?”
Group B:
“I already work enough and I hardly have time for myself the way it is”
Group A:
“I devote so much of my time to my company/boss etc….it’s about time that I devote some to my own future, goals, dreams and aspirations… I owe it to myself and family. I deserve it. It’s my life.”
Do you see the drastic differences?
The difference is obvious, but so simple. It’s simply a conditioned mindset and deciding to see the obstacles/negatives or the outcome/positives.
Many of these statements may be true for Group B (Self-sabatogers), but here’s the issue. Each statement is made in the manner of having to sacrifice and a sense of “loss”. They do not look at the perceived sacrifice as an investment. If one were to look at the sacrifice as an investment, they might find themselves saying things such as Group A (Self-investors).
The same opportunity…. two entirely different mindsets. And here’s the thing.
They are a CONSCIOUS choice. The trick is to have enough self-awareness and consciously direct your thoughts in a way that serves you! Not in a direction that limits you and your abilities. Yes, it’s that easy.
If you’re saying to yourself right now “yeah, that’s easy to say”, I’d hate to tell you, but you’re stuck in an unconsciously directed mind that has become enslaved to impulse thoughts and beliefs. It’s your egoic mind trying to “protect” you from fear - perceived failure. When in fact, all it’s doing is limiting your life and sucking joy from your life.
You can break this vicious cycle by simply becoming present and aware of your thoughts. Recognize these limiting thoughts and beliefs. Once you’ve done this, you’ve empowered yourself to shift those thoughts. Then it’s time to display some courage and act!
Next comes the choice to have faith - a choice to believe in your own ability to figure things out and make it work. Think about how powerful of a mindset that is. Real faith in YOU.
Remember, it takes absolutely no courage to stay right where you’re at, doing the same things and getting the same results.
Always remember it’s the things that we “don’t have to do” that move the needle forward in our life. Going to that day job – that’s something you have to do in order to pay the bills – but when you get home, reading that book on ‘how to start a business’, or taking that online course, or going to that seminar are ALL things you “don’t have to do”, but they are all things that will have the biggest impact in progressing our lives.
How many people are willing to invest $1,000-$5,000 in a seminar, one that’s in-line with their goals, dreams and aspirations? The sad truth is that many will not even blink an eye to use that money for a down payment on a car, that vacation or maybe that new home theater.
Why? They simply choose not to see the ultimate upside when it comes to investing in their self and they lack faith. Because when you see the “ultimate” upside and have faith that you’ll make it happen, you act. And you act with enthusiasm because your vision is clear.
It’s essential to recognize these differences and realize that the best investment and bet you could EVER make is on yourself.
It’s a fact.
And if you can’t believe that, who will?
The question becomes: Are you going to continue to invest all of your resources in somebody else’s dream or will you invest and bet on yourself and have the faith that you’ll figure it out?
The time is ticking. The opportunities are there. Look. And if you don’t see one, create it!
Reflection Questions:
1. We all have that one “thing” we’ve dreamed of doing or becoming, what’s yours?
2. When you think of that “thing” what’s the story that you’re creating in your head. Are you Group A or Group B?
3. Are you investing all of your resources in someone else or something other than your dream?
4. How much do you invest in yourself? Ex. Reading book (development), seminars, continuing education, courses, writing a blog, writing that book, health, fitness, nutrition, learning that new skill, etc….?
5. What are 1 or 2 things that you can invest in for yourself, that will progress your life forward?
6. Are you willing to have the faith that YOU will in fact make your dreams come true? Because you know that you will and can figure things out.
7. Act. Invest and live your dreams! You have one very short life…how will you spend it?