Here’s a comment that repulses me and you hear it way too often.
“Happy wife, happy life!”
This is the biggest symbol of surrender, suppression and domestication from a man.
Since when has the sole purpose of a marriage or a relationship been bowing to the needs and demands of the woman?
Here’s the truth.
No man, nor many women respect a man who has become suppressed by his wife (or girlfriend for that mater).
Women will test you.
She will test her boundaries.
She will see how far you will stretch.
She will test how weak you are.
She will test your power, your beliefs, and your values.
She will see if you will stand up for anything in your life. No matter how small it may seem.
She wants to know that you are strong, confident, and that you stand for something. That you will not be pushed over and submit to the challenger.
Why?
One of two things are going on here.
One reason:
She’s in her masculine, or she is primarily masculine energy.
Therefore, she is taking the role of the dominant, controller, protector and provider.
If you are primarily masculine energy yourself, you will be repulsed by her when she steps into her masculine and challenges you. These are the moments that you “butt heads” where you compete with each other and battle.
OR
Second reason:
She’s intentionally challenging you (whether she consciously knows this or not, she is) to see if she can trust you. She’s feminine by nature and she wants to see and feel your masculine.
She wants to know that you will not just submit to the first command of a challenger. Especially if it’s something that she knows that you care about and value.
Few women, particularly a feminine women does NOT want to be with a push over. She doesn’t want to be the one in control all of the time.
She doesn’t want to be the one directing, demanding and dictating.
If she has to stay in this masculine state too long, she will begin to feel it within. She will feel and act frustrated, moody, demanding, “bitchy” and sexually unavailable.
Lets make this more real life.
I will use what seems like petty or over simplified examples in order to demonstrate this dilemma at work.
We all know this guy:
The one who has to ask for permission to do anything.
He’s the friend that you would text or call the wife/girlfriend to see if you they would like to go out for dinner or a weekend trip as a couple.
He’s the guy that will choose to lie about having some drinks, spending money, staying out late, talking to another women, or even be around another women for fear of reprimanding.
He’s the guy who has a chore list or a “honey do list” everyday which he must complete in order to fulfill the “happy wife, happy life” motto.
He’s the guy who will obey any and all command given to him.
“Go get this babe…”
“Get me this babe…”
“I want this…” (*hint, go buy me this)
He’s the guy who will do EVERYTHING in order to make sure that she is pleased and her needsand wants are met, all of the time. We all have needs and wants but they can’t be met all the time.
Example: He’s the guy who will ALWAYS ask her where she wants to go out to eat. He’s the guy who will always cook what she likes to eat.
You know him! He’s the guy who will NEVER make a decision without consulting with her - EVEN when it has nothing to do with her or will affect her at all.
It’s as if he’s not even his own man anymore. Always asking for permission. Always trying to please every want and demand. Always hyper focused on “Babe, what would YOU like?” But yet you will rarely see her consult with him nor be concerned with his wants.
He’s the guy who feels guilty for watching the football games for fear of the snarls, the glaring eye and the disgust from his suppressor.
He’s the guy who can never just be present during guys night because he is either getting text messages or calls from her, wondering what they are doing and when will he be home.
His masculine has been tamed.
He has become tamed, like a lion in a cage.
He has forgotten what it even feels like to be a MAN. To feel his masculine.
But we all know this guy all too well.
Because when he’s away from the “Queen” he will unleash!
He will try and display any sort of dominance among his fellow peers. He’s the guy who will belittle other men and particularly other women. He will look for any way to release his suppressed masculine.
Many times this is the man who has the “wondering eye.” He will drink heavily (when he’s away from his suppresser)… he will do this just to show that he still has his man card (but in reality he’s just being an asshole)…but not always. He may be so manipulated and suppressed that he has lost all ambition to even try and rediscover his masculine.
We all so badly want to see him DROP HIS BALLS.
Fuck man, stand up for something. Anything.
There will be times that you have to do it just to prove a point.
The point that you will not be controlled, suppressed, or mastered.
To make your boundaries known.
And you know what….many women (the feminine) WANT to see and feel this from you.
They don’t want to actually control, suppress or master you. They are simply testing you.
Testing your limits. Your weakness. And how easily you can be suppressed.
She wants to know that you ARE the man who will fight for something, anything.
She wants to know that when you are challenged that you will fight, push back and persevere.
Why?
Because she wants to know that you WILL provide and protect.
It’s an innate evolutionary need. And she will try and discover this through the “petty” demands, wants and commands. Often times she doesn’t even know why she’s doing it.
But if she were to objectively assess her behavior she will feel it within…..she wants to FEEL you. The emotion. Your strength. Your power.
When she feels that, she feels protected and that you will always do what is needed to provide for her and your family.
Sadly, in our society, it has been all too common for men and women to compete. And it’s harming so many relationships and our entire society.
Women trying to project their power over men or equality to men.
Men trying to protect and project their power over women to defend against the feminist movement.
Men and women competing on who is better and who is right.
It has made relationships toxic and created a sense of tension among men and women.
I want you to take notice of something.
Take notice of how common it is for hollywood and large corporations to project men as geeks, dumb, childish, incompetent, and a pushover.
You see it in commercials, in sitcoms, and in movies.
Take notice. 90% of the sitcoms have “men” who play the roll of a dad, husband, or guy who is a klutz,childish, incompetent, goof and a nerd. He's physically weak, unfit or extremely overweight.
And the women plays the role of the head of the household. She’s usually a sophisticated and intelligent woman who has to “fix” the man and will highlight the husbands incompetence, immaturity and lack of power.
One phrase sums it up. “She wears the pants in the relationship.”
We’ve seen the switch from the Indian Jones and The Dukes of Hazzards. Where manhood was a symbol of strength, courage, honor and mastery.
To shows such as: Friends, Modern Family,Big Bang Theory, Everybody Loves Raymond, Yes Dear, The King of Queens.
Being a submissive, weak, obedient, and fearful man has gone mainstream.
It’s time that it ends!
It’s time that we wake up.
That we unleash the caged man, once again.
But we shall do so with high integrity and respect.
We must respect women. Women must respect men.
Men should adore and desire women (not compete).
Women should adore and desire men (not compete).
We must realize that we DO need the opposite sex.
We have gotten too caught up in the propaganda that we don’t need the opposite sex.
Women have been influenced and told for well over a century that they don’t need a man and many women have spent their life trying to prove this as fact.
And this has done nothing but put a line between men and women.
So how do we sever this problem?
Certain women must stop competing. And they must do so without fear that all of their empowerment and equality will be taken from them.
We, as men, must respect this. The days of every women being a housewife are over.
Some women have more masculine and actually want to be more of a provider. They want control. They want more power.
But here’s the problem. Not all women want this. Many feminine women want to stay in their more nurturing, and comforting state.
But society has brainwashed women to think that being a housewife or a women that doesn’t want to climb the corporate ladder is some how a failure. That all women are meant to be more, to have more, and to lead more.
So you have women who DON’T actually want this, but they find themselves in these roles which is causing them to fester from withinThey feel the inner turmoil and often times they release it through the “bitchiness”, demanding, and bickering. Because they are not remaining true to who they are.
They are not remaining true to their predominantly feminine. They don’t want to stay in their masculine but society has told them they should.
So now we have women in their masculine who would feel more at harmony in their feminine.
And then we have men in their feminine who would feel more at harmony in their masculine.
Both are secretly miserable, pissed off, and dying inside.
Both want out.
Both want to unleash their true self - their innate self.
Both want to take off the mask and drop the unfulfilling roles that society has influenced them to adapt.
Some men need to drop their balls.
They need bring back and uphold the true symbol of manhood: strength, courage, honor and mastery.
Some women need to stop wearing the balls!
They need to bring back and live in their true feminine and realize that IT IS OK: the soft, loving, playful, caring, nurturing, and radiant energy of the feminine.
The woman who feels safe, protected, loved and respected.
HERE IS THE KEY TO IT ALL:
We must know who we truly are. Stand up for who we are and feel safe being who we are.
The feminine needs the masculine to feel complete - NOT to compete.
The masculine needs the feminine to feel complete - NOT to compete.
So lets unite once again. Lets stop competing and realize that we need the other to feel the power of true love.
Lets champion the other sex, not compete against it.
Lets adore the other sex again and know the importance and role they play in our lives.
But in order to do that we must BE who were really are.
Are we predominately masculine or feminine?
Own it and respect the other!
And drop the “Happy wife, happy life” from your vocabulary.
Instead, adapt “I shall stay true to me and live in harmony with my partner = happy and prosperous life.”
Brian Larson
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Brian Larson Mindset, Nutrition & Performance Expert B.S. Human Performance; Psychology Creator, The UltimateYou Method