Just 6 days ago my Dad couldn't walk on his own and was not "there" mentally. He took a massive turn for the worse as his cancer reached 90%, but we were able to get him to Rochester Mayo Clinic and start a new treatment (Thursday night) that was passed by the FDA just 10 days prior. He's 1 of 8 in the world that's on this treatment and our hopes are high with this.
The fact that he's up and able to take a picture like this is unreal. The dude fights. Even though he didn't really want to get up and walk, I gave him some tough-love and demanded he does. So he listened like a good father! But how much fight does a man have within him? Only he knows. Only he can determine that. To this point my Dad has determined there’s something worth fighting for.
My Dad and I as he battles to his feet again.
At 12 years old, I witness the life taken away from a cousin I idealized and viewed as the brother I never had. He was playing a pick-up basketball game and lost his life to a brain injury. He was 19. When I was 20 years old I witness the life taken away from a great friend and college roommate. He was hit by a car and lost his life a brain injury. He was 24. Remember these events as you read on.
Why do I share these stories? Well, I’m going to send out a strong message. I usually write in a more subtle, ‘soft’, encouraging manner but during this article I will not be patting anyone on the back saying, “It’s ok, you’re doing your best.” If you’re looking to read something that simply makes you feel good about yourself but leaves you doing nothing, then you may want to click the ‘x’ in the top right corner. However, I am coming from the best of intentions with this message, bluntness and all.
I believe my stance on life and the delicacy of it stems from the stories I stated above. However, while visiting my Dad at Mayo Clinic things reached a tipping point. I observed multiple floors filled with cancer patients (some half my age) and I felt called and compelled to share a message.
Over the last 20 months I’ve watched my Dad physically deteriorate. He went from a ‘hard-core’ farmer-harley guy to begin unable to walk under his own strength and clearly losing cognitive ability. I’ve watched him go through multiple chemo treatments which have all failed at sending him into remission. Leaving him beaten down and weak both mentally and physically. Somehow, each time, he’s found the strength to fight back and recover just enough to endear another poison treatment of chemo, only to experience the same vicious cycle once again.
The worst thing I have had to witness, to this point, was during his latest drug treatment. Which is suppose to be a one of the “best” treatments they’ve given him. The nurse came in, hung the bag of chemo and started the line of treatment as we watched on. In a matter of minutes I could see it in his eyes, things were not feeling well for him. I could see the pain in his face. He began to get nauseous and then rigors started (I’ve never witnessed this before). His body began to uncontrollably shake. He claimed he was absolutely freezing. All of his muscles tensed up, his breathing become shallow, fast and almost hyperventilating. He kept moaning in pain and looking around with a look of helplessness. Witnessing this and not being able to do anything to immediately help, nor knowing what’s going on, is a feeling that I hope I never have to experience again.
The rigors eventually passed but the lessons from this experience will remain with me forever. It was in that moment that I saw first hand the delicacy of life and health itself.
Witnessing my Dad’s deterioration from cancer, witnessing teenagers fight for their lives, witnessing my Dad’s look of helplessness, witnessing the floors of a cancer center and seeing all walks of life hooked up to chemo with pail looks of sickness on their faces becomes a turning point in one’s life.
In this moment you realize that your mind, body and life is a privilege and something that’s consistently earned over a lifetime. We are not entitled to shit. We are not entitled to a healthy mind, body or epic life simply because we are walking and breathing. And I feel that’s the issue. So many of us walk around with a sense of immortality, entitlement and complete unconsciousness to our own mind, body and life. We hid behind excuses, we hid behind justifications, we hid behind relationships, we hid behind distractions all to avoid the greatest mystery to us all. Ourself.
We use our career, responsibilities, spouse, kids, parents, lack of education, too many bills, lack of money, stress, where we live, the weather, no time, “I wish I could”, don’t know how and my favorite of all “I care about others first, and put myself last” all as excuses and justifications for our:
- bad health
- cluttered mind
- negative emotions
- Unhappy relationships
- being overweight or fat
- being physically weak.
- being mentally weak.
- Emotional imbalance
- lack of productivity
- not acting on our dreams
- not living life how we truly want
- our anger, resentment
All fucking lies we tell ourselves to temporarily feel better about our current mental, physical and life state or situation. You know what the most disrespectful and selfish thing you can do in the world is?
ANSWER: Neglecting your mental and physical health.
That’s right. I’ve personally trained hundreds upon hundreds of people and it’s all too common to hear the typical phrase: “I put myself last. I feel it’s selfish to take time for me when I have a spouse, kids, business etc… to tend to, love and take care of.” Complete bullshit and it’s time we realize that it’s a lie we like to tell ourselves to deflect the real issue - ourself. You see, when we keep telling ourselves that nice little lie it allows us to feel good, we have reasons/excuses/justifications for having shitty health, being overweight, being physically weak, having low energy, being moody, not liking our job, feeling stressed all the time and/or a clogged mind. It’s deflecting ownership and enables you to stay just how you are. No need for change, since you’re “doing everything for everyone else.” This great lie enables you to feel as if you’re serving the betterment of others. LIE.
What if you looked at this way. Having an unhealthy mind and/or body is the most selfish thing you can do. Yes, it is. Fact. Now how does that make you feel? The moment we realize “it’s on us” we can get a little pissed off. Often times it’s not easy to face the TRUTH.
If we’ve neglected your health, body and mind causing you to become physically weak, unfit, overweight, fat, low energy, highly stressed, on edge, moody, low self-worth, low ambition, cluttered mind, distracted, un motivated, going through the motions of life……all while their are millions of adults and CHILDREN around the world who have been involuntarily stripped of their physical and/or mental health. How selfish are our actions and behaviors now?
It’s here, ownership, where you have the ability and privilege to direct your health. But one continues to ignore the truth and deflect the ownership. The ‘treat’ is just too tempting, I’ll start next week, I’m just sooo stressed so I deserve ______. I have so much on my plate that I don’t have time for ‘myself’.
LIES. LIES. LIES.
Think about it. How much of a service or role model are we to our kids or society if we’re mentally and/or physically unhealthy? To think that it’s NOT sending a terrible message to our kids, spouse, society or negatively affecting our career, job, kids, relationships and our life is to live another lie.
The truth: it is negatively affecting everything. However, we’ve become masters at ignoring the truth and becoming blind to the results. It’s time to stop the bullshit lies and face the facts, the truth.
When we face the truth we become empowered. Thou holds the keys. Thou shall have the power for change. It’s time to own it.
All of those nice little stories, excuses and justifications that we tell ourselves comes from a place of powerlessness. One whom takes responsibility for one’s life comes from a place of power. Power to manifest real positive change and consciously direct their mind/body/life. What does that mean? It’s a mindset of personal responsibility and ownership.
Fat? It’s on I.
Physically weak? It’s on I.
Stressed? It’s on I.
Broke? It’s on I.
Sad? It’s on I.
Angry? It’s on I.
Unhappy? It’s on I.
Lack of energy? It’s on I.
Miserable at your job? It’s on I.
Lonely? It’s on I.
Frustrated with your life? It’s on I.
Thy shall own it. Own it all.
That’s a place of personal power and empowerment. When you OWN the facts and the truth, you’re in power. You then have the ability to make real change in your life. The moment one stops placing blame for all of the struggles and frustrations in their life is the moment one becomes liberated.
The alternative? You can continue to lie. You can continue to tell stories of excuses, justifications and reasonings. All enabling thy to stay nicely right where thy at. If that’s your wish, then more power to you. It’s all a matter of a choice. Our choice.
One can continue to tell themselves they have it so hard, so many duties, so many responsibilities, so many expectations….guess what…..those are the results of PERSONAL decisions in life. We are exactly where we are mentally, physically and life-wise as a direct results of past decisions, beliefs and behaviors. Again, when we own this fact we empower ourselves. It puts one in a place of knowing, why they are ‘here’, which enables one to realize HOW to ‘get’ to where they want.
Still telling yourself lies? If so, I’d urge you to tour a cancer treatment center. Walk around and take a look at the men, the women, the girls, the boys, the children lying in their beds receiving treatment. Then invite yourself into one of the rooms, sit down with them and please share your lie, your story with them. Tell them just why is is that you are neglecting the health of your mind and body or why you continue to go the motions in life, waiting “someday” to act on your dreams and begin to live the life you’ve always dreamed of. Tell them why you can’t change. Tell them how you don’t have the time. Tell them how you spend all of your time thinking about others that you put yourself last and this is why you’re unhealthy or in this current life situation.
Look right into their eyes as you tell them this. Do you still believe all of your lies?
At what point will we awaken as a society, stop telling ourselves the lies, face the truth and take complete ownership of our lives? When will we take the power back? Power lies in the truth.
We all slip up from time-to-time, but the determining factor is how long we continue to believe the lies we tell ourself. Because when their’s no one else to blame we come face-to-face with the scariest and most unknown person in our life, ourself.
And in that moment we become liberated. In that moment we’ve empowered ourselves to right the ship and live with purpose and intention. Only at that time are we fit to serve others. This is where the magic of life lives - the ability to serve others from a healthy state (Mind-Body-Life).
So the question.
Are you going to continue to lie or will you face the truth?
And remember, we are not entitled to shit. If we are privileged enough to be born with our health, it’s our obligation to maintain this health which becomes a lifelong journey to earning it. Tomorrow it could all be taken from you and if so, would you be content with how you’ve lived your life so far?
Or maybe your one of the few that’s fit, strong, healthy, mentally tough, emotionally resilient, bursting with energy, but you’ve been playing the game of life safely. You’re just doing what you have to so or what you think you have to be doing. You’re doing all of the “right things”, getting the good job, house, and/or kids etc…. but you still feel something within your gut. A burning desire for something more, something grand, something that leaves you with hair-on-fire passion each day. But you’re suppressing those feelings and desires in the favor of security and comfort.
If that’s you, I’d urge you to do the same, visit the cancer floor at a hospital and visit a patient that’s half your age. Then look them in the eyes and tell them just why it is that you are not acting on your dreams. Why you can’t play big in life. Why you can’t accomplish or at least try accomplishing your grandest dreams. Why you can take that dream trip you consistently think about. Why you can’t start that business. Why you can’t move to your dream location.
My dad as he continues to battle cancer.
Tell them all of your lies as they fight daily for just one more day of life.
Or one can begin to tell the truth. Leading to empowerment and the ability to wake up a start living. Because as soon as tomorrow your power could be involuntarily taken away, leaving you with whatever you’ve done to this moment. Would you be content? Would you be able to say that you've lived a courageous life and one with zero regrets?
It’s time we wake up and tell the truth.
I certainly do not come from a superior point of view on this. I've been there. I've been in all of the circumstances that I've stated above. But I've awakened to the truth and continue to face the truth each day. Each day is an opportunity to face the truth and grow or we can continue to tell our lies, avoid the pain of truth and remain comfortable hiding behind our justifications and lies. We can choose a life of expansion or a life of ease and mediocrity. It's all a conscious choice, and oh how liberating that fact becomes.
You may be asking why I have such a strong stance on life itself and the urgency we shall meet it with. I believe it stems from when I was 12 years old as I witness a cousin lose his life at the age of 19 and became deeply rooted at the age of 20 as I witness my friend lose his life at 24. Which makes me think to myself, "Here I am at the age of 30, already having the privilege to experiences years more than that of them. I sure as hell am not going to waste them and disrespect them by doing so. They didn't have the choice. They no longer have the ability to live at their highest possible self. The no longer have the ability to act on their dreams. I do. Now what will I do with it?
Synapse of the message:
Here's the compressed message and I hope everyone can really absorb this fact and live as such. If you have your health, enjoy it to the max as tomorrow it may be gone. However, If you don't have a terminal illness and you've been neglecting your health, it's time to face the facts, start respecting yourself and get it back. And if you're having a hard time or feeling sorry for yourself in the process, I'd urge you to take a tour of a cancer treatment floor. When you see the ones half your age fighting for their life, you will awaken.
Put shortly, it's our obligation to respect the life and body we've been given because there are zero guarantees and there are millions who no longer have such a privilege. Each day we shall earn our health and our life, for it is a delicacy. If you can't come to this truth, just remember the stories of my cousin, 19 years old and that of my friend 24 years old. They no longer have the ability to chase their dreams, admire life or experience the magic in life.
We do.
Reflection Questions:
- Do I find myself unfit, unhealthy, physically weak, lacking energy, and/or moody? If so, what are the excuses I continue to hid behind? What’s the bullshit story I continue to tell myself in order to ignore the truth? Am I hiding behind my career which enables me to avoid myself (mind, body, spiritual connection)? Am I hiding behind my kids, enabling me to avoid myself? Am I hiding behind my insecurities enabling me to avoid my finances or acting on my dreams?
- Am I taking 100% ownership over all aspects of my life? The health of my mind, body, emotions, spirit. My finances. My job/career/business? My personal relationships?
- Do I understand that once I own all aspects of my life I will become empowered and completely liberated? Here, is where I can make change and start to live with intention and purpose.
- I must take the necessary time to be alone, meditate and contemplate the most unknown of all - I. Am I telling the truth or hiding behind lies to avoid the reality and the pain? As I hid behind the lies, I understand this pain will only manifest until my mind or body can no longer take it = major health issue, breakdown, bankruptcy, divorce etc…. At some point in my life I will come facet-to-face with reality, forcing myself to deal with the truth. Knowing this truth, will I continue to avoid and procrastinate or will I self-reflect and redirect before the apocalypse?
- What’s the weakest area of my life at this time? Body/Mind/Relationships/Business-finances. Why is this? What’s the truth and what’s the lie I’ve been hiding behind?
- What can I DO in order to make change and improve in that arena?
Just 3 months prior on our annual harley trip out west. This is how fast one can lose their health.
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Think Different - Live Different
Brian Larson
Creator and Founder of Kingsman Academy
Creator and Founder of KingsmanStrong