Here I was, just entering personal liberation journey, so what did I DO next?
Although it seems so very basic, one of the first actions I took to break free was to say “Yes” to everything I normally would say “no” to, or things I would normally question.
Through awareness I realized that if I wanted to change, I must change my habits, behaviors, beliefs, thoughts and actions.
I was now ready to challenge every belief system I had, because they were obviously preventing me from experiencing the real zest and joy in life. I do remember there was a point where I said, “Brian, whenever you feel that unease feeling in your gut, fear and resistance to the ‘new’ I’m going to say, “Yes”, no matter what. No matter how much I “think” I don’t want to, I’m going to consistently get uncomfortable and act.
I was going to welcome the NEW, the unfamiliar and the unknown. It was time to walk into the darkness.
Was this easy? Not one bit, but it was such a major contributor to my growth and quality of life.
It was difficult to break years and years of conditioning. Each time I was confronted with a decision that would involve something “new” I would have a conditioned urge to reject such an option and stay in that nice comfy chair of the familiar and known. The difference now was I had empowered myself through awareness and presence. I was aware of these self-sabotaging thoughts and redirected them in a positive direction. I started using positive “what if” projections such as:
“What if I meet someone that I like?”
“What if I meet great people and create new friendships?”
“What if I have fun and like it?”
“What if this leads to new opportunities or new business?”
“What if I can inspire someone or add value to someone’s life?”
“What if there’s a deeper underlining reason as to why this option has been presented to me?”
“What if it all works out and it becomes the greatest decision of my life?”
“What if I create incredible memories, experience something new and/or learn something new?”
This simple shift in mindset had a profound effect. I made the decision to believe these positive projections and then took action. I said “yes” to the ‘New’ every chance I could, no matter how small. I also intentionally looked for events or situations that would create new experiences, force me to meet new people and would lead to me feeling slightly uncomfortable.
I now said ‘Yes’ to things such as:
Ø Meeting new people or going into a situation that would result in me meeting someone new
Ø New foods. (Ones I “believed” I did not like)
Ø New places to explore
Ø New restaurants
Ø New activities (ones that I “believed” I did not like)
Ø Learning new skills (ones I had once deemed as stupid)
Ø When people would ask me to do something (that I used to think was “dumb”) I said, ‘Hell YES!’.
Ø To new adventures.
I took this “welcome the new” motto serious. For example, I reached out to a good friend and we came up with the agreement that we would schedule a day each week where we would do something new. Each week we would rotate who would pick this one “thing”. The other person could not object, no matter how much resistance they felt towards that activity or how much they perceived to hate it.
I can honestly say this was a major breakthrough for me and I was now well on my journey to awakening and breaking free.
It’s amazing as to how the “new” can make you feel. It requires your full presence, which enables you to feel a real sense of joy, enthusiasm and growth from within, just as a child.
Ironically, the exact things that I perceived as “painful or unenjoyably” are what brought excitement and joy into my life.
This is a guarantee, new and novel challenges bring a real sense of charge and aliveness back into our lives. It then becomes our obligation to welcome the new and novel on a frequent basis.
Are you sitting in a comfy chair? No matter how successful a person is, their lies a particular ‘comfy chair’ that’s holding them back from taking it to an even higher level, and declaring that comfy chair is imperative.
We all have sat in this chair or are currently sitting in a very big one as we speak. There’s some area in your life that you’re comfortable and things are on autopilot, not requiring you to stretch yourself. It may not be as major as the ones I had, but it’s there. It becomes a goal to recognize these comforts, these limiting beliefs, these limiting thoughts etc…..
Why is it important to declare you comfy chair? It saps you of life. These comfy chairs are what prevent you from experiencing the charge, aliveness and joy of the new. Think about this, how often do you:
Ø Take the SAME route to and from work
Ø Workout at the SAME gym
Ø Go out with the SAME friends and have the same discussions
Ø Go to the SAME restaurants, bars or coffee shops
Ø Go to the SAME vacation spots
Ø Order the SAME kinds of food
Ø Order the SAME drink
Ø Go to the SAME categories of movies
Ø Go to the SAME genres of music or concerts
Ø Do the SAME kinds of activities each weekend or evening
Ø Date the SAME kind of man/women
Ø Do the same kind of work over and over again, with little or no struggle. It’s easy for you at this point.
Ø How long have you lived in the SAME area/house/street etc…
Ø Talk to the SAME people each day. Rarely finding someone new to say ‘hello’ to
Ø Sit in the SAME seat, at the exact SAME place.
Your answers to those questions, and even more so how many times you say “No” to opportunities that represent the new and the unknown, will give you a very real and easy assessment as to how “welcoming” or “unwelcoming” you are to the new, the unfamiliar and the unknown.
Change your answers to the small things stated above and take notice as to how you feel and what changes in your life. Just try it. It’s time create some New experiences and it’s time to LIVE, now.
But why is breaking free of the comfy chair and welcoming the new into our lives, so hard for many of us?
It’s due to this one simple fact; it takes absolutely no courage to stay in the confines of the known, the familiar, “the light”. It’s also easy to look at an uncomfortable situation or potential experience and say, “I just don’t like to do ____. Or “I’m not good at _____”. Again, that takes absolutely no courage and it’s simply a tactic that our egoic mind uses to protect itself from becoming vulnerable.
Ask yourself this question: Is this mindset of service to you and your life situation? No, but in that moment you say ‘No’ to the unknown it feels as if it’s in your best interest because it takes away the stress and uneasy feeling you get from the unknown, the unfamiliar, the “darkness”.
When in reality, it’s sucking you from life experiences, personal growth and adventure. It’s the fastest path to mediocrity and a mundane life there is.
If you’re reading this blog I know that’s not the life you’re meant to live, nor intend to live.
Now is your time. Now is your time to break free from the restraints.
Break free from the limiting beliefs that do not serve you.
Break free from the confines of the comfy chair, the known, the familiar and the “light”.
It’s time to become aware of your own unconsciously directed thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back for experiencing life at an all new level. Now is the time to consciously direct your mind in a way that serves you.
It’s time to welcome the new, the unknown, the unfamiliar and charge into the darkness once again!
Because on the other side of that darkness, there’s an entirely new world that awaits you.
Now is your time to break free and live a courageous life.
NOW.
Reflection Questions:
1. List your comfy chairs. Be honest. If you can’t think of one, that’s your ego trying to protect you.
2. List 5 NEW things you can do in the next week. This could be minor or major.
3. What’s one MAJOR comfy chair you’ve been sitting in for months or years or a lifetime? When you think of this comfy chair what are your thoughts? Write them out, the first thoughts and/or beliefs that come to your head.
4. What’s one major NEW thing I can welcome into my life that would be extremely unfamiliar, unknown? Set the deadline and DO THIS ‘New’, walk into the darkness.
5. What’s holding you back from taking your life to that next level?
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Brian Larson