3 Keys To Happiness
Happiness, we all want it. We all want more of it. But do we? Our ego’s may have different intentions.
If we all want to simply be happy, then why do we consistently find ourselves in unhappy states and circumstances? Here’s the real answer: we choose to be unhappy. Yes, that’s the stone cold hard fact.
I know, many of you are saying:
“You’re telling me that I’m choosing to be unhappy? If it’s a choice then nobody would be unhappy. I can’t help it that my _________(insert any person) is an ass to me, never appreciates anything I do, nor appreciates me. And don’t even get me started on my boss and job. I’m miserable. The work environment is toxic, all they care about are the #’s, they could care less about us and their demands are outrageous, nobody could meet their expectations. How could anybody be happy in my situation??! You’re another voo-doo doctor”.
My response would be: “Well done ego, well done. It’s fighting hard and feeling threatened.” (This will make sense in a moment).
There are a couple key elements within that “story” that I’d like you to notice.
1. Their happiness is conditional and directed at everything external. Meaning they require certain circumstances and situations to be happy. If ________ then I could and will be happy.
2. They are playing the victim role. Their unhappiness is the result of others, things or circumstances.
Nobody, no thing, no event, no situation, no circumstance is responsible for your happiness. It’s 100% from within. The moment one takes complete ownership of this fact is the moment their life will forever change.
Adapt this concept and you empower yourself to BE happy, all of the time. You don’t just have happiness, you generate happiness. Happiness is a practice, just like unhappiness is. You’ve been practicing unhappiness by consistently allowing negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions consume you. That very act reinforces your unhappiness.
You want happiness? Make the shift and consistently practice it. Shift your thoughts, beliefs and emotions to ones that SERVE you. As hoaky as you may feel it is, practicing positive thoughts, affirmations and gratitude is no different than practicing negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions. The problem becomes the unawareness of such thoughts, beliefs and emotions or practicing deflection. Meaning you deflect the ownership and cause of these negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions onto the external (people, places, events, situations, circumstances).
Why would you resist making the shift? Why do you feel a resistance to practicing positive thoughts, beliefs and emotions (that’s so hoaky and weird)? The answer is simple, obvious, but painful. Because then you’d have to take 100% responsibility for your happiness AND your unhappiness. And the fact is, it’s much easier to point to the external for blame. The other issue here is that unhappiness is a form of identity the ego has formed. And when you have practiced unhappiness for years and have built an identity of unhappiness you’re ego has too much invested into this unhappiness (identity), therefore even the thought of happiness as a “choice” makes you feel resistance and rebel against such a claim.
Wake up to this feeling and noise! Because that’s your ego trying to hold onto what it has worked so hard at molding and building. How dare ‘You’ take that away!
If you can simply recognize this dilemma and become fully aware of what’s at work, you’ve become conscious and with consciousness comes the power to shift and change the story within. Again, if you still feel yourself fighting this concept, you’re still at the grips of your egoic mind. You’ll need to practice awareness. Start by becoming the ‘observer’ of your thoughts. Start becoming aware of your negative thoughts, limiting beliefs and erratic emotions. Observe them without getting further caught up within them. Simply notice them. That’s enough to disarm the ego.
If you give your thoughts, beliefs and emotions the attention it seeks you simply strengthen them, causing even more pain and unhappiness. Here’s what I mean when I say “get caught up”, lets use the following as an illustration: you wake up and you think……….
“Ahhhhh, I’m so damn tired, I only got 4 hours of sleep again. This sucks!”.
If you were conscious enough you could simply observe that impulse thought, notice it, and release it. Never placing judgment upon the thought and/or yourself. You noticed the negative thought and moved along or you immediately shifted that thought into a positive one (you’re practicing happiness). If this were the case you may find yourself saying: “4 hours of sleep, I’m simply glad I’m alive and have the opportunity to improve my life today and notice the beauty in life, once more”.
If you found yourself reading that and thinking, “That’s so cheezy, and voo-doo like”, I urge you to take notice, that’s your ego at work. If you feel a resistance to generating those positive thoughts or you “feel” weird or unease that’s a telltale sign that your ego has been building it’s identity around the negative, the pity, and victimhood. Become aware of this fact and you have the power to make the shift and change.
Now lets take the person that remains unconscious and gets lost and caught up within that one simple negative thought of: “ah I’m so damn tired, I only got 4 hours of sleep again, this sucks”.
Now, you give that thought your attention (feeding it). Next, you find yourself in a borage of negative thoughts such as:
“How am I going to function today. I have so much to get done. I have that report to finish. I have to get the kids ready! There’s no way I’m going to get to work on time and still function. Ah, god, I can’t stand my job. Why do I even work there? I can’t even think about going into that toxic office again. Now I don’t even have time to work out today. I never get time to myself. I’m always doing things for others. That’s right, I have to get that birthday present, which will cost $200. We don’t have money like that to spend! I don’t get paid nearly what I am worth. We are living paycheck to paycheck and all I want to do is have a family vacation. I just want time to myself and to be happy! Gosh!!!!”
Take a look at that! That scenario is NOT uncommon. Look at where that one, simple, minor negative thought led to! All of this occurred because you became enslaved to your unconsciously directed mind. A mind that gave the negative thought the attention it was seeking which led to more negative and impulsive thoughts and beliefs.
That’s what it means to “get lost and caught up in”. You are simply unconscious. Meaning your egoic mind has taken over.
To prevent this all you had to do was remain conscious by observing that 1st negative thought, noticing it, and then let it drift away like a leaf in the wind. Do NOT give it your attention. Practice this. Because if you want to obtain self-mastery and get your life back, you’ll need to consistently practice happiness, just like you may have been practicing unhappiness all this time.
You may be saying, yeah, that sounds simple and easy. My response would be, it is. But just like anything, it takes consistent practice in order to master it. Again, if you find yourself fighting this fact, realize that you’re still trying to hold onto that negative, pity, victim ego that’s been built.
We’ve all done it and you can’t blame yourself for such a thing. The ego doesn’t care if the identity serves you or makes you miserable, it simply needs an identity to survive and once it finds one, it will strengthen and strengthen and strengthen. Consciousness is the only thing that can defeat it and the moment you become conscious of the ego’s workings, you’ve disarmed it.
Take back your life, form an identity that serves you and practice happiness, because YOU are the only one that can generate happiness within. The time is, NOW.
Here are the 3 keys to happiness
1. Take 100% responsibility for your happiness and unhappiness. Don’t show up as a victim.
2. Be present. Practice the awareness of your thoughts and don’t give the negative thoughts and beliefs the attention it seeks. Destroy the egoic mind at work with your consciousness.
3. Practice. Practice. Practice.
Simply take ownership of your happiness and really understand that happiness is an internal game. YOU generate happiness. Don’t let your ego fight this fact. You deserve intense happiness, right NOW.
Can you still hear the ego fighting for it’s life? Listen carefully……